Jefferson Lives On!

During this Thanksgiving Holiday my mom, Nana Banana, and I started reminiscing about our younger years. Inevitably we compare ourselves and our kids to the traits of our parents. It tickles my heart every time I hear a new story about my parents as children. Everytime you think you've heard all that they have done, some random story brings about new musings.

Nana Banana and I were commenting on my younger brother and his many antics. Boy did he pull some stunts as a child. CB was forever roaming as a child. My mom would tell him to stay in the yard and he could play outside. After a few minutes she would check on him and he was nowhere to be found. I told her that she just didn't speak his language. To CB a yard was anyplace with grass. As long as there was grass under his feet he was in the yard! He just wasn't too concerned about who's yard it was. We laughed about how fearless this kid was except for one little phobia. CB was deathly afraid of the dark. He may have been quite the little roamer but you could always be sure that about 5 seconds before darkness fell he was running through the door.

Nana Banana told me that my dad, Jefferson, was quite the roamer as well. Apparently he enjoyed his own company and preferred to entertain himself. He would go off and hide in caves or in woods always eluding his brothers. He would also hide under his house and create an entire city for his little cars to go. There were times when he would find some money and decide that he needed to add to his car collection. He never let anything stop him from doing what he felt he needed to do, so he hitchhiked (he was about 6 or 7) into town and purchased his little car. I'm not sure if he even bothered to tell anyone where he was going or ask permission to do it.

I believe that same spirit lives on in each of his children. We do like to take charge and make things happen. I think he was always proud of our independant characters. He always told us not to let anything hold us back from what we wanted to do. He reminded us that hard times were just ways to build character.

We lost our adventuring Jefferson some time ago during his 11 year struggle with Alztheimers. Every once in a while a little glimmer of his true self would be able to make it through the fog of the disease. Jefferson left this life a year ago on September 30th but I believe his spirit carries on in his children and theirs. Everytime my little Li Li shows that mischevious streak I see her papa in her. Everytime I laugh till my sides hurt I feel that happy spirit of my papasan living on inside me.

Thank you Jefferson for the wonderful legacy.

Mirror, Mirror...I Want a New Me!

I certainly have learned a lot by interacting more with children in the last three years. What insights they give us.

Let's take Li Li for an example.....I've always thought she was a little bossy. She loves to tell people what to do and if they don't do things as she feels they should be done she can always run and tattle. I have since changed my mind about her. Perhaps bossy isn't the right word for her. I believe that in her 7 year old wisdom she sees things....decides she doesn't quite like what she sees.....and takes action to change that which she doesn't like. Now don't go thinking that she is changing her inner self. No, no, no. She is not quite there yet. She is changing her outer self!

Two years ago I began reading Junie B. Jones to her. The series is really delightful if you want an entertaining read. We read one book that captured her attention more than most. It was Junie B. Jones ...Is a Beauty Shop Guy. In the story (you guessed it) Junie B. decides to cut her hair with some disastrous results. Well, what is good enough for Junie B. is good enough for my little Li Li. She decides that the shoulder length bob (hair is all one length, no bangs) is not the right look for her. One evening while taking a bath she decides to change things. While her hair is nice and wet she cuts herself some bangs. Then with a little more bravery she snips a chunk of hair from her nape. I believe she let good judgement sway her and decided that since she couldn't really see the back of her head she should stop at this point.

When she finished her bath she came to me to comb out her hair and dry it for her before she went to bed. I start combing her hair and low and behold this long, clump of hair falls out of her head. Imagine my horror as I see that her hair is falling out just by combing. You would also need to know that her older sister, Ya Ya, has alopecia (auto immune disease that halts hair regrowth thus causing hair to fall out and leave bald spots on the scalp). A million things are running through my mind as I stare at this clump of hair that has fallen out. Does she, too, have alopecia? Is hair loss an indicator of childhood lukemia? Is this a precursor to some horrible and fatal disease? I jokingly ask Li Li if she's been playing with the scissors and cutting her hair. I think it was my one stab at allaying the fears of something ghastly being wrong with my baby, but knowing in my heart it couldn't be true. Imagine my surprise when Li Li drops her head and starts crying. Oh, no! My baby knows she has some fatal disease too! She is much too perceptive at her young age! How do I comfort her? I pick her up and put her in my lap and start telling her that everything is going to be okay. She tells me through her tears that it won't be okay because I'm going to be really mad at her for using the scissors on her hair without permission. I again start to let her know that all will be well when her words finally penetrate my brain......Oh, no she didn't!!!!! How could she cut her hair? I turn her to face me and then see the bangs that she cut (I must admit that these actually were cut quite well; I only had to do a little bit of evening out) and now I want to cry. My baby's beautiful, all one length, hair is ruined! Not really, but I felt that way at first. Well, imagine the little talk we had.....needless to say we stopped reading those horrible (they teach children bad, bad things) Junie B. Jones books! Li Li lost the right to use scissors without an adult watching her. She never really had the privelige to begin with but we made certain she understood that rule this time. As time went by her bangs grew out and now we are at middle of the back, one lenth hair.

Now, just a few days ago Li Li was once again taking a bath (Do you see a pattern here? If they weren't necessary I think I would forbid her to ever bathe or shower again.) and deciding that she wasn't happy with another physical feature. She has been blessed with a unibrow. It is the sad, much hated trademark of the women in our family. Li Li has commented a time or two that she does not like the way her eyebrows meet and form one long brow. I have offered to pluck the brow or even wax it to give her two nicely shaped brows. She wanted no part of this. It seemed far too painful for her to consider. I should have known that one day soon my take charge girl would correct this little problem. She didn't let me down. She came to me after her bath a few nights ago and told me that her eyebrows were falling out. I didn't fall into the fatal disease panic this time. I looked at her sternly and asked her what she meant. She broke under the pressure of my gaze. She started crying and let me get a good look at her eyebrows. She no longer had a unibrow. In fact the spot just above her nose looked very clean and smooth. Aha, I deduct she has used a razor! She admits to doing so and I start on my long spiel about how dangerous razors are and how she could cut herself when I notice her right eyebrow. Or at least what's left of it. While she did a great job between the eyes, she was a little heavy handed on the top part of her mid eyebrow. In fact, she almost looks like she was trying to shave the whole thing off. Now I am starting to come unglued!!! I do contain myself and try not to scar her for life with some wild tirade. She goes back to the mirror and bemoans the loss of half her brow and worries about how the kids will make fun of her. I am not feeling too sorry for her because she did it to herself but I realize that part of my role as parent is to boost self-esteem. I tell her to hold her head high and ignore anyone who says anything to her. I also tell her that it is really not that noticeable.....(why do people keep getting this funny look on their faces when they see her?) and rush her off to bed. Then I just can't help myself. I bury my head in my pillow so she can't hear me and burst into........yep..........laughter! I can't control it. My little girl is going to be a force to be reckoned with! I hope as she continues to grow up (and probably tries to alter her physical looks many more times) that I can always appreciate and nurture that take charge attitude. I want her to not be afraid to make decisions and stand up for herself. I just hope she uses wise judgement as she does this!

With Liberty and Justice for All

Well, I closed a pretty big chapter of my life last week. Maybe I should say almost closed. Three years ago I was a much different person with my priorities a little skewed......

I was working for The Big Bad Wolf Department Stores as a Buyer. I had been working with them for almost 18 years. In that time I saw many people come and go. Some left happily, some were asked to leave and sadly some of us were just not so happily stuck there. I am not sure if it was complacency or fear that kept us there. We really did work for the Big Bad Wolf. He was one of three owners: CEO - Bigger Badder Wolf, President - Big Bad Sometimes Rational Wolf, and the President of my Division - Big Bad Psycho Wolf.
We came in on a daily basis always listening to Big Bad Psycho Wolf huff and puff and threaten to blow our house down. When I was there in the moment he was the scariest monster I could ever dream up. I watched him paralyze grown men and women with fear. He took pleasure in the control he had over us. He commanded that we work 6 days a week during holidays with no extra compensation or days off in the future. He would send us on out of town trips with just a couple of hours notice. He watched when we came in each morning and blustered and spewed if we were one minute late. He eagle eyed us as we left each day and spit and fumed if we left one minute early. He loved to make women cry. He thought we were so weak and dumb. During the end of my sentence in this place he even grew to despise those who were not under 30 because apparently we could no longer think clearly or muster up enthusiasm.

During the last two years of my sentence there I watched great people belittled and fired for some silly reason and fumed at the injustice of it. Yet I still labored on, being loyal and true to this psycho wolf. I missed out on many family events because I was too busy bowing down to this ogre and doing his bidding. And then one day it was my turn to be dismissed without a second thought because my usefulness to them was at an end. I was given some flimsy excuse that really didn't ring true or make sense to me.

Little did I know that it would be the best thing to ever happen to me. So why is this the closing of a chapter in my life now when I was not so kindly asked to leave 2 1/2 years ago? Well, I left feeling that once again an injustice was done....to me!!!! I spoke to a very good friend of mine just a few days after my dismissal and she so wisely advised me to make a stand for justice. To let my voice be heard and stand up for what was right. I took her advice. I searched the city until I found the perfect attorney to represent me and I stood up to the Big Bad Psycho Wolf!

It has been a long 2 1/2 year battle with the Wolf Attorneys fighting us and postponing any attempt we made to seek justice. But, alas, last Wednesday I was able to sit before a judge and be heard. What is more important is that I was able to sit and watch while my attorney caught the Big Bad Psycho Wolf and two of his cronies, Liar Liar Pants on Fire Wild Dog and I Think I am so Wonderful Semi Wild Dog, in several lies and doctored documents meant to make me look bad. I enjoyed, sorry if it makes me a bad person, watching my attorney turn Big Bad Psycho Wolf into a sniveling, subserviant dingo. When he was taken out of his domain he wasn't nearly as powerful as I had remembered. It was a wonderful sight to see.

I now await the decision of the judge to know if my fight for justice will be accepted. The judge has thirty days to rule on this matter. I told my attorney that no matter the outcome I feel that I won on Wednesday. I learned, a little late in life, that nothing is more important than family. That no one should have so much power and command so much fear. That it really is okay to stand up for yourself. I purged so many bitter feelings, regret, and anger just by taking a stand.

I even started winning almost immediately after my dismissal. I became happier not serving a sentence to Wolf and friends. I was able to take in my three kids and give them a good home filled with love and encouragement (okay, sometimes a little disorder). I was able to start this wonderful venture to help bring the creative and performing arts to kids and adults. I am happy with myself and I am happy with life. That makes me the winner.

Go Justice!!!!! Yeah Liberty!!!!! WooHoo for those Founding Fathers who knew we would need it!!!!!!!

Tap Tap! Hooray!!!!!

I attended my first tap dance class last night. Wow! Who knew remembering all the different combinations could be so tough on such an old bird as I? And no one told me anything about having to be able to balance.....Did you know that you have to hop and jump in tap? I thought you just popped those little metal taps on the floor to make wonderful rhythym. What a workout! Boy did I feel great after the class. I was able to do a shuffle, hop, shuffle without falling on my great big behind. I even put a few combinations together and actually got to dance in time to music. Of course I had to slow the stuff down a little. How in the world do people actually move so fast. What silly person would actually write music with a tempo that would make me have to move like there was fire under my feet? I mean, really, I watched all the Shirley Temple movies and I swear I don't recall her feet moving that fast. Whew! And if having to move my feet fast and hop around wasn't enough......at the end of the class my girls, Li Li and Ya Ya, came in to observe. Well, you can imagine how that was. Ya Ya had to comment on my moves and tell me how easy it was to do a shuffle,ball,change or whatever the heck that combination was. Should 9 year olds be able to do this? I almost had to go tap on her toes! Well here is hoping that a new and healthier me can emerge from all this tapping, shuffling, and hopping. And by newer I don't mean any more titanium plates in my body from broken limbs. I have enough already, thank you!

Kids.....seen but not heard?????

Well don't kids say the darndest things? I wonder if we should allow them to speak sometimes because they reach a certain age (of course all three of mine are at that certain age!) where they seem to spout off smart aleck remarks at the drop of a hat. Where do they pick these things up? Surely not from their smarty mouth relatives (including me) or the television? I cannot believe their lovely little school mates would ever do such a thing!

However, if we only allowed them to be seen and not heard we would miss out on some of the funniest interactions that make us love them so much...right? We do love them so much????

Here are just a few of those interactions I have had lately:

Li Li (7 yr old) and I were going to an appointment one morning and we were talking and having a fun time. It is so rare that its just the two of us. Well, she decides she wants to watch a little TV as we are driving along. I warn her that the TV stations may not come in too clearly since we are moving through town. She flips through a few channels and then says, " Here's a sofa. I like those. I think I'll keep it on this channel." I have a pretty puzzled look on my face because I have no idea what she is talking about. I say, " A what?" and she replies, "A sofa. You know like Nana watches every day." "Oh", I say, " You mean a soap opera?". "Yeah", she says. I then ask her if she even likes soap operas. She replies, "Well, not really, but that's all Nana watches so I would rather have that on than nothing. It makes her happy.".

Boo Boo (2 yr old nephew) was in my room one morning as I was getting dressed. Now I haven't completely dressed yet so he walks up to me and pats my bare bottom with his hand and says, "Uggggghhhhh, Mimi!" Isn't that what everyone should start their day with? Then just when you want to ban him from your presence for life he says, "Hug, Mimi?" and "Kiss, Mimi?".

Li Li was playing with her dolls and dollhouse in my office one afternoon and she is speaking rather forcefully to her dolls. I get a little uncomfortable with the angry tone she is using so I ask her to be nice to her dolls. My sister, Dr. Mom, immediately tells me to let her express herself like this because it helps her work out her aggressions. She then tells me that I don't like hearing it because it is an echo of what I probably say to her and I'm feeling guilty. Li Li then pipes up with, "Actually, I'm saying things like you do Aunt Dr. Mom. That's not really how Mimi talks to us." Well, out of the mouths of babes and all that!!! You go Li Li.....she'll think twice before she offers me advice again.

I guess it all evens out at the end of the day, doesn't it? We love the kids and seconds later we want to stuff gags in their mouths. Do you think this is anything like freedom of speech? Surely we didn't do this to our Mothers.....