Mirror, Mirror...I Want a New Me!

I certainly have learned a lot by interacting more with children in the last three years. What insights they give us.

Let's take Li Li for an example.....I've always thought she was a little bossy. She loves to tell people what to do and if they don't do things as she feels they should be done she can always run and tattle. I have since changed my mind about her. Perhaps bossy isn't the right word for her. I believe that in her 7 year old wisdom she sees things....decides she doesn't quite like what she sees.....and takes action to change that which she doesn't like. Now don't go thinking that she is changing her inner self. No, no, no. She is not quite there yet. She is changing her outer self!

Two years ago I began reading Junie B. Jones to her. The series is really delightful if you want an entertaining read. We read one book that captured her attention more than most. It was Junie B. Jones ...Is a Beauty Shop Guy. In the story (you guessed it) Junie B. decides to cut her hair with some disastrous results. Well, what is good enough for Junie B. is good enough for my little Li Li. She decides that the shoulder length bob (hair is all one length, no bangs) is not the right look for her. One evening while taking a bath she decides to change things. While her hair is nice and wet she cuts herself some bangs. Then with a little more bravery she snips a chunk of hair from her nape. I believe she let good judgement sway her and decided that since she couldn't really see the back of her head she should stop at this point.

When she finished her bath she came to me to comb out her hair and dry it for her before she went to bed. I start combing her hair and low and behold this long, clump of hair falls out of her head. Imagine my horror as I see that her hair is falling out just by combing. You would also need to know that her older sister, Ya Ya, has alopecia (auto immune disease that halts hair regrowth thus causing hair to fall out and leave bald spots on the scalp). A million things are running through my mind as I stare at this clump of hair that has fallen out. Does she, too, have alopecia? Is hair loss an indicator of childhood lukemia? Is this a precursor to some horrible and fatal disease? I jokingly ask Li Li if she's been playing with the scissors and cutting her hair. I think it was my one stab at allaying the fears of something ghastly being wrong with my baby, but knowing in my heart it couldn't be true. Imagine my surprise when Li Li drops her head and starts crying. Oh, no! My baby knows she has some fatal disease too! She is much too perceptive at her young age! How do I comfort her? I pick her up and put her in my lap and start telling her that everything is going to be okay. She tells me through her tears that it won't be okay because I'm going to be really mad at her for using the scissors on her hair without permission. I again start to let her know that all will be well when her words finally penetrate my brain......Oh, no she didn't!!!!! How could she cut her hair? I turn her to face me and then see the bangs that she cut (I must admit that these actually were cut quite well; I only had to do a little bit of evening out) and now I want to cry. My baby's beautiful, all one length, hair is ruined! Not really, but I felt that way at first. Well, imagine the little talk we had.....needless to say we stopped reading those horrible (they teach children bad, bad things) Junie B. Jones books! Li Li lost the right to use scissors without an adult watching her. She never really had the privelige to begin with but we made certain she understood that rule this time. As time went by her bangs grew out and now we are at middle of the back, one lenth hair.

Now, just a few days ago Li Li was once again taking a bath (Do you see a pattern here? If they weren't necessary I think I would forbid her to ever bathe or shower again.) and deciding that she wasn't happy with another physical feature. She has been blessed with a unibrow. It is the sad, much hated trademark of the women in our family. Li Li has commented a time or two that she does not like the way her eyebrows meet and form one long brow. I have offered to pluck the brow or even wax it to give her two nicely shaped brows. She wanted no part of this. It seemed far too painful for her to consider. I should have known that one day soon my take charge girl would correct this little problem. She didn't let me down. She came to me after her bath a few nights ago and told me that her eyebrows were falling out. I didn't fall into the fatal disease panic this time. I looked at her sternly and asked her what she meant. She broke under the pressure of my gaze. She started crying and let me get a good look at her eyebrows. She no longer had a unibrow. In fact the spot just above her nose looked very clean and smooth. Aha, I deduct she has used a razor! She admits to doing so and I start on my long spiel about how dangerous razors are and how she could cut herself when I notice her right eyebrow. Or at least what's left of it. While she did a great job between the eyes, she was a little heavy handed on the top part of her mid eyebrow. In fact, she almost looks like she was trying to shave the whole thing off. Now I am starting to come unglued!!! I do contain myself and try not to scar her for life with some wild tirade. She goes back to the mirror and bemoans the loss of half her brow and worries about how the kids will make fun of her. I am not feeling too sorry for her because she did it to herself but I realize that part of my role as parent is to boost self-esteem. I tell her to hold her head high and ignore anyone who says anything to her. I also tell her that it is really not that noticeable.....(why do people keep getting this funny look on their faces when they see her?) and rush her off to bed. Then I just can't help myself. I bury my head in my pillow so she can't hear me and burst into........yep..........laughter! I can't control it. My little girl is going to be a force to be reckoned with! I hope as she continues to grow up (and probably tries to alter her physical looks many more times) that I can always appreciate and nurture that take charge attitude. I want her to not be afraid to make decisions and stand up for herself. I just hope she uses wise judgement as she does this!