An Elephant Safari

Well, not really....But we did go the the Riddles Elephant Sanctuary today. What an adventure.

I have been told by many, and I admit to it myself, that I cannot find my way out of a paper bag. A little harsh, but true. I hate to drive because I am so directionally challenged. On every vacation that we drove around on, I managed to land us smack dab in the middle of the slum/ghetto of each city we visited. Not so bad if you are driving around in Podunk, USA: how dangerous can their slums be? Ooooooh! A rabid rooster and a drunk skunk!!!!! But when you are in Boston, NYC, Philadelphia or even DC it can get a little creepy. And its not like I got us lost in broad daylight....nooooo....I had to get us lost at 2 or 3 in the morning. Anyway, you now understand my severe handicap.

Well, I decided to take my kids to see the Elephant Sanctuary since it is relatively close to us. I got on line and printed out step by step instructions and realized that it was going to be a breeze to get there.

This morning I get everyone up and around so we can be some of the first to arrive when the Sanctuary opens at 11:00 am. NanaMama even decided to go with us. (Oh how I should have waited for Suzie Q or Dr. Mom to mapigate for me!) We hit the road at 9:30 so we could take our time getting there. We made the obligatory stop at Sonics to fortify ourselves with the big Route 44 Diet Cokes (it helps me stay alert and function) and fueled up Sherman the Tank (cough, cough $135 at Sams) and headed to the Elephants. Things were going great. YaYa was ecstatic because she had Disney Radio to listen to. BB was just happy not to be grounded for the day. LiLi was in heaven. She is my animal lover. She had her notebook and pen ready to take notes and learn about elephants.

Before we made it out of the Rock, LiLi spotted a cool looking motorcycle with a couple on it. She went "Oooooooh.....Eeeeeeew, yuck.....They have wrinkles!"

I guess that sums up our day; We had a few wrinkles.

We reached the exchange of the route point in great time. I saw a sign for Hwy 64 and got off the interstate. We traveled through towns I have heard of but never been to. The only problem was not seeing a sign for the town of our destination. Did I mention that in all the hustling out of the house I forgot to pick up my step by step instructions? Well, after driving about 30 miles NanaMama and I look at each other and realize that we got off on Hwy 64 when we should have exited at Hwy 65. Now this is a pet peeve of mine. Why do Hwys have to sound so much alike? You can see how easily I could get confused between 64 and 65. They sound too much alike. Maybe I can write to our congressmen to do something about this. It should be covered under some protection of idiot's rights. (I am referring to myself as the idiot so don't get all bent out of shape).

So, we drive back to the exchange point, get back on the interstate and head for Hwy 65. Still a little behind schedule but not too bad. We travel up 65 until we get to Hwy 25 and we veer onto our new road. See how easy that transition was? I can clearly discern between 65 and 25 without any confusion. We drive along to the little town, and I do mean little, that the Sanctuary is supposed to be in. We cannot find a sign anywhere. I have all my kiddos in the back seats reading every street sign, speed limit sign, and attraction sign to me. As if this wasn't enough chaos, I have my legally blind NanaMama trying to read signs as well. Is it any wonder we missed the sign? Well, instead of driving about 10 miles down the road we drove about 40 miles and several small towns more. Again, we visited places I had heard of but had never been to. At this point I am a little bit frustrated so I pick up my cell phone, shout hallelujah when I see that I have service and call Dr. Mom to get me out of this mess. Dr. Mom has rudely left her phone in her car while she sits at a friends house merrily scrapbooking. Curses to her!!! After our 40 mile jaunt I pull in to one of those service station/convenience store/restaurant. I ask the clerk if she could give me directions to the Elephant Sanctuary. Now I understand why men do not ask for directions. She looked at me like I had just asked her to explain Newton's laws of gravity. She points down the road in the opposite direction that we have been going and says, "Maybe it is back thataway somewhere." I'm on it! With directions as clear as mud, I head back in the opposite direction. It is getting later and later and I am hoping we can find this blasted place before it closes. Finally, after driving about 30 miles we see the sign. Guess what? It was blocked by a bigger sign when we first came through. We head down this road looking for elephant signs when we come to the end of our road and are confronted with a new road. Which way do we go? We couldn't find a sign. I pick right. We drive along for about 5 miles and reach the end of the road without any trace of an elephant. Don't worry. I wasn't the least bit surprised that I chose the wrong direction, again. We turn around, head back the other way and finally come to the gates of the Sanctuary. Yeah! It is still open. We pay our admission fee, get out of the car, with the camera I remembered to bring and head off to see the Elephants. After walking about 15 yards I come to a Kodak moment. I pull out the camera, turn it on......wait....and wait....to see that it is never coming on....the batteries are dead! Way to go, me!

Even without the camera, we manage to have a great time. LiLi is furiously taking notes on everything the handlers are telling us. We are watching the antics of a little (about 800 lbs) 9 month old elephant and enjoying ourselves. All the wrinkles of getting there are forgotten.

We leave the Sanctuary, head back to a larger town, find a restaurant, and have some lunch. We managed to get home without any problems. I hate to even say what time it was when we got home. Let's just say it was an all day adventure!

I do recommend it to all. It was neat to learn about the elephants, and wonderful to know that there is a place for these poor creatures to go rather than face death.

If you ever want to go....Just give me a ring and I'll give you the directions!