Sunday, March 02, 2008

Let me tell you 'bout the birds & the bees...

Well......this mother thing is fairly new to me and I am never quite sure if I am scarring the kids for life or helping to nurture greatness!
My middle child is turning 11 years old in April. This weekend it occurred to me that she has not asked me anything about growing up, where babies come from, changes to her body, etc. Now...am I supposed to wait for her to come to me so she gets information when she is ready? Or do I go to her and create an unstable child because I have told her things she is not ready for? Well, you know me. Why tip toe around something when I can just bull doze it? This weekend I started noticing little things going on with YaYa. She is starting to get oil zones on her face and one or two zits. Her hair gets really oily in spots if she does not wash it every day. So I think to myself (really, who else am I going to think to?) what if other major changes happen to her and she thinks she is seriously ill or dying because I have not had the "talk" with her. I think back to the "talk" that my mother had with me....that makes me jump start the action. My mother's talk was about 3 years too late. I cannot let that happen to my YaYa! I call YaYa to come in the room with me and not only do I get her company but LiLi and BooBoo come in the room with her. Okay, I'm just going to go for it even with the extras. I sit her down and start drawing a great graphic of the inner workings of a woman's body (I know this because my sister is here and she tells me this). The minute I start in on the "talk" YaYa sticks her fingers in her ears, LiLi is pointing to the diagram and asking questions, and Boo is doing his best to keep up. Well, it was a successful talk with LiLi! She will be prepared for the changes to come. Boo has a semi understanding of the human body (as well as a 4 year old can understand). YaYa caught sketches of the conversation when I kept pulling her fingers out of her ears. I'm not sure it will all make sense though.....So, will my baby be prepared? Or have I just grossed her out so much she will hate her body? Who knows. I did learn one thing though....I can see Boo's future now. He looked up at me and said "Mimi, can I squeeze your breasts?" My answer, of course, is "Why no, Boo, you may not squeeze my breasts!" His next remark is, "No, Mimi, I don't want to squeeze them. I want to squish them flat!" You realize what this means, don't you? I hope my sister is prepared for the path her son will take. I mean, is it normal for a 4 year old boy to want to squish boobs? No it is not. This can only mean one thing unless my sister can intervene. Boo is destined to become..........yep, you guessed it...............
a plastic surgeon who specializes in breast reductions!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Better to be a plastic surgeon than a few other things related to swishing boobies!

Sarah said...

OMG! That is hilarious!!!